This is not a backpack, but a picture of a backpack.

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I made a thing

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What is Off-the-Record

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Tammy re-adjusted here Boogle Glass X. Many versions later and they still hadn’t figured out of to customize it for their buyers even though 3D printers were dirt cheap. Doing it yourself still wasn’t legal either and would cost you a fine of 30 Bitcoins ($ 15k). 

Not to mention a lawsuit that would bankrupt a start-up millionaire. 

At least she could go back and edit the footage face-gram later. Much much later. If she ever found the time to sort through her footage 24 hr/d, 7 days a week worth of raw data.

Tammy decided that it didn’t matter anyway. Her face-gram friends (all 600 of them) were plugged into the the Broogle Glass X constant face-gram account around the club and view here live footage at any time. Anyone could, as a matter of fact. Face-gram had done away with the last privacy laws 5 years ago.

On the bright side Tammy has saved enough to hire her own e-curator. E-curator’s had sprung up around the same time the privacy laws had been abolished. Some enterprising soul (a desperate liberal arts graduate with a mountain of debt no doubt) had come up with the concept of sitting through your terabytes of data for a fee and sorting out the best / most useful and piecing together a pretty movie/personal art gallery, which could be played on people’s birthdays.

The competition for e-curators wasn’t very high in the beginning. Which made the their fees rather high. Luckily, that was changing and Tammy could finally have artsy short-film of parent-approved duck faces. Which would be judged by her equally duck-face inclined face-gram friends.The best one would win a trip to the lower earth-orbit’s first and only luxury cruise.

Tammy called up Broogle’s search and said “Highest ranking e-curator”….

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Inspired by this article.

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A Side Story

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Daniel was bored. Daniel was hungry. Either Daniel was bored or hungry or maybe both. He couldn’t tell. It was the sort off lazy Sunday afternoon where you’ve recovered from Saturday hangover and have nothing to do in the space between Sunday afternoon and Monday.

Daniel flipped a coin. Heads was hungry and tails was bored. The coin spun in the air for an eternal second and landed on heads. Hungry it was.

He had Pizza hut in speed-dial and called.

After ringing for a few seconds the usual recorded voice came on welcoming Daniel to Pizza hut. Daniel irritably waited for the recorded list of offers and discounts to finish, after which he pressed 2 to place his order. Nothing happened for a second and the recorded voice repeated the latest offers. Daniel pressed 2 again. The same thing happened.

Daniel grumbled and pressed 2 yet again in the same vein of people who do the same thing over again expecting a different result. Miraculously something changed. The recorded voice went away replaced by silence and an eerie melody. The melody faded even as Daniel felt if he’d been accidentally connected to the local phone psychic’s hotline, and someone greeted him in a pleasant voice. Daniel couldn’t tell if it was a male or female as the voice had that odd gender neutral tone, which is further garbled by a telephone line.

“Welcome to Pizza hut, can I verify if this is Daniel Malinowski calling from…” the operator proceeded to rattle of Daniel’s number and address as he was a repeat customer and was therefore in the Database. Daniel affirmed it with a grunt.

Before Daniel could ask for the usual Pizza though the operator interjected that he was the 50th caller of the day and won a free Pizza of his choice. They already had his address and phone number. They just needed a signature once the pizza arrived. Of course he did.

There was a finger in the pizza!! This was very shocking for D.. someone had gone to great lengths to give him the finger! Who could it be?! he thought.. obviously it’s someone who was missing ‘the Finger!’

But there were more pressing matters to attend to …the Pizza!! He was still hungry you know! If he didn’t eat the pizza the Finger man would win! and he would still be hungry. If he did eat the pizza he would satisfy his hunger, but…Cannibalism… of course he ate the pizza!! But was it before he realized it was Halloween candy? or after?!

We do not KNOW!

Ending provided by Sohan Reddy.

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This is a thing now. had to share.

Sweet dreams. via George Takei’s Facebook page. Click the image to go there.

 

 

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Human Cyborgs

We live in the future. What with tablets/smartphones that look & act like tricorders, a stylus where you draw on them and smart-watches to wear… we are constantly connected. With wearable technology we are human cyborgs.

I know, I know what you are saying: but boredmuse, watches are removable and you only hold smartphones in your hand. It has to at least be grafted to your skin, to call yourself a cyborg. So let’s see what Wikipedia has to say:

According to some definitions of the term, the metaphysical and physical attachments humanity has with even the most basic technologies have already made them cyborgs.[4] In a typical example, a human fitted with a heart pacemaker or an insulin pump (if the person has diabetes) might be considered a cyborg, since these mechanical parts enhance the body’s “natural” mechanisms through synthetic feedback mechanisms. (more)

According to the above, even your parent/grandparent is technically a cyborg. heck it could be you.

Above nitpick aside, we aren’t very far off from a full-fledged cyborg, bionic vision is already being developed, human chip implants have existed for more than a decade and the military is way ahead of the rest.

Fictional technology that should already exist, but doesn’t (according to the lunatic writing this) is: smartphones that are implanted in your wrist which only you;ll be able to see thanks to being directly linked to your visual cortex, being able to share the view or messages with another implant user via synchronizing brainwaves and pf course have safe guards against new forms of viruses to prevent you from shorting out your brain. We might otherwise need section 9.

Still think I’m wrong? have something to add? Tell me in the comments.

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Seeing light in a new light

Seeing light in a new light.

Scientists create never-before-seen form of matter.

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Sarah the Cheese Lady – Sarah the Cheese Lady

Sarah the Cheese Lady – Sarah the Cheese Lady.

ESCANABA — They call her “The Cheese Lady,” and she’s coming to the U.P. She’s a professional cheese sculptor who creates beautiful works of art from giant blocks of cheese.

Who cut the cheese? Sarah Kaufmann does it for a living. She’s “The Cheese Lady.” She travels the country carving enormous cheese sculptures. In a couple weeks, she’ll be carving a new sculpture at the U.P. State Fair of a farmer and his family out of a 640-pound cheddar cheese block. It will be her first time at the fair.

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Contact with Aliens? Think Before You Call. | SETI Institute

Contact with Aliens? Think Before You Call. | SETI Institute.

My e-mail is frequently larded with interesting nuggets, such as this revelation:

“The aliens are in touch. Whenever I use my computer, they underline certain strange words on the screen … It’s a message.” Possibly. Then again, perhaps the correspondent should turn off the spell-check on his word processor.

 

 

 

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Cheese and Lactose Intolerance

I find myself in a position where I’m currently unable to consume any cheese or most milk products. This leads me to an interesting point. A lot of new research is contradicting previous common knowledge that milk is a healthy and therefore necessary part of our daily diet. To quote a part of this article from nerdfitness.com creator Steve Kamb:

Dairy’s a tough one, as most Paleo folks tend to stay away from it – a portion of the world is lactose intolerant, and those that aren’t usually have at least some type of an aversion to it.  Why is that? Because no other animal in the entire kingdom drinks milk beyond infancy.  Hunter-gatherers didn’t lug cows around with them while traveling – milk was consumed as a baby, and that was it.  As with grains, our bodies weren’t designed for massive dairy consumption.

The man himself seems to be split on the issue and I so am I. Personally, I like cheese, especially the kind native to Germany & Switzerland. But that’s a rare treat indeed and I digress.

For a more detailed view, you  check out the definitive guide to dairy, which incidentally the nerdfitness.com article also links to. It’s a long article, so a warning in advance for those with short attention span.  But it explains  the whole milk controversy (incl. lactose intolerance) quite well. Look at east Asia: until being invaded by  the west almost all the most of the population there didn’t consume any milk products, because they’d never seen a cow before. And yet they were healthier than most. I say east Asia as the south had no shortage of milk (cows, buffaloes, goats).

Tl;dr:  your body doesn’t need milk or milk products, unless you are a child. No harm in having if you aren’t lactose intolerant.  Cheese in particular though isn’t  exactly the healthiest of foods, especially if  it is of the highly processed mass marketed kind.

The problem is that a lot of people don’t know this. The dairy industry may have a vested interest in keeping it that way just like the oil industry doesn’t want to let go of it’s monopoly on the fuel market.

Well I’m letting you know.  Spread the word.

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